Akhirnya! Setelah lima bulan menghilang dari blog ini, saya kembali dengan keberanian untuk menulis post berbahasa Indonesia… dan menyampaikan sebuah kabar gembira. I’m going to be a mother. (Percayalah, kalimat barusan itu masih terasa sungguh ajaib di telinga saya.) Kabar kehamilan saya datang di bulan Agustus, dimana saat itu saya dan Pak Gege lagi lumayan riweuh ngurusin opening TUJUAN, cafe and function space baru yang kami bangun bersama (lebih banyak dia tentunya, saya cuma bantu-bantu dikit aja). Dalam post ini, saya akan menceritakan detailnya.

May 2018. The month of re-assessing the reality. My April was crowded and full of other people, something that I enjoyed and, at the same time, feeling very conscious about. The month was started by me boarding on a group trip and ended with my birthday celebration with friends and family— indeed, a month-long fiesta. And I loved it. All the flights, the new experiences, the travel, the social life. I also love the fact that my birth date is the last day of April, which make my symbol-centric mind all excited about always having a great way to "close" the month. Birthday party! I love parties!  I love being around people! I also love, equally, the opposite of all that —I love being alone. And quite romantically, my May this year was about many things that relate to the state of aloneness. Do you want to know why?

The first month of 2018 has recently passed and by the time I write this post, the Lunar New Year is exactly just a day away. What a wonderful period to witness. Going a little backward, the year 2017 will be one of the years that I found incredibly remarkable: it is an eternal reminder of when the world around me redefined itself in a whole new shape, like getting a facelift made out of its own bone and flesh. More in a great way, though. Not in a way that I will usually be scared of (Taurean and Their Phobia of The Happening Changes In Life™), but in a surprising little perspective turn that made me feel like I started to ENJOY the changes. Here is a story about those changes.

Upon waiting for my Moka pot to finish brewing this morning, I opened my Instagram and found an interesting DM from a friend, asking: "Yoo, where have you been?? Taking a break from Instagram???" (I'm not making this seemed dramatic in purpose — she does write in multiple question marks, always.) I replied to her, telling that I don't have any purpose for not posting updates. I've been doing things around the house and meeting people a lot, I said. Then I checked on my feed, and apparently, it's been five days since I last "launched" a picture to the stream. Suddenly it stroke me right away: the slight relief sense in my heart. Why relief, I asked myself?

I SWEAR I WILL NEVER BE LIKE YOU!"

That, ladies and gentlemen, was my old mantra. The tantrum-like, anger-based, usually-comes-in-screamings kind of mantra. Every time I had a fight with my mom, or couldn't stand arguing with my dad; the mantra will do its job: to give me the winning feel of the happening war. I will either shout the line out loud or whisper it in verbose mode, silently by the heart. I never liked the adult attitudes they were giving me. All the rules, all the advice, all the harsh criticism. You sure can see how I looked like during teenage years: the geeky bookworm personality combined with a trendy side-job as a young announcer in one of the biggest private radio network in my hometown. An easy-going smart-ass who think she knew everything. Of course I won't listen to my parents. I won't listen to anybody. In fact, I don't think I even listen to myself…

Writing this, I'm counting on the very few left days we all have before saying another goodbye to the passing 2016. It's a cliche, but I believe most of us will stop for a moment and think, "Wow, what happened to the rest eleven months?" - Because time did fly, quite unnoticeable, while living creatures, like you and me, buried our heads deeply inside the repetitive daily routines. And just like other anxious beings, I try to scan my memories slowly, grasping important events that I've been through, so they could be stored together in the archive of Things I Should Never Forget In Life.Soon I realize that I travel a lot in 2016. Counting the total hours and frequency, I'm a 100% sure that I've never traveled that much in my life before. Why am I doing this?