What Happened in : May. A lot, and Alone.

May 2018. The month of re-assessing the reality. My April was crowded and full of other people, something that I enjoyed and, at the same time, feeling very conscious about. The month was started by me boarding on a group trip and ended with my birthday celebration with friends and family— indeed, a month-long fiesta. And I loved it. All the flights, the new experiences, the travel, the social life. I also love the fact that my birth date is the last day of April, which make my symbol-centric mind all excited about always having a great way to "close" the month. Birthday party! I love parties!  I love being around people! I also love, equally, the opposite of all that —I love being alone. And quite romantically, my May this year was about many things that relate to the state of aloneness. Do you want to know why?

Alright, Where Were We? (Being A Wife, Building a House, Another Puppy, New Haircut —and More!)

The first month of 2018 has recently passed and by the time I write this post, the Lunar New Year is exactly just a day away. What a wonderful period to witness. Going a little backward, the year 2017 will be one of the years that I found incredibly remarkable: it is an eternal reminder of when the world around me redefined itself in a whole new shape, like getting a facelift made out of its own bone and flesh. More in a great way, though. Not in a way that I will usually be scared of (Taurean and Their Phobia of The Happening Changes In Life™), but in a surprising little perspective turn that made me feel like I started to ENJOY the changes. Here is a story about those changes.

An Opening to 2018: The Joy of Disappearing

Upon waiting for my Moka pot to finish brewing this morning, I opened my Instagram and found an interesting DM from a friend, asking: "Yoo, where have you been?? Taking a break from Instagram???" (I'm not making this seemed dramatic in purpose — she does write in multiple question marks, always.) I replied to her, telling that I don't have any purpose for not posting updates. I've been doing things around the house and meeting people a lot, I said. Then I checked on my feed, and apparently, it's been five days since I last "launched" a picture to the stream. Suddenly it stroke me right away: the slight relief sense in my heart. Why relief, I asked myself?

How To Deal With Creative Block?

Oh, weekdays. Here we are again. After indulging myself in such a long, long break post-wedding-ceremony, routines quickly striking back. I’ve flown to Jogja twice this week, and soon will go back to Jakarta for another working weekend. This frequency of travel is part of my job and I wouldn’t mind at all - it takes effort and energy but I’ve prepared for that. What I (surprisingly) find difficult is when lately my mind seems to get clouded easily - I couldn’t think as clear, I process things slower, and most importantly… I feel stuck in stagnancy. Whenever I want to create, or to design or to write, I have to stop for a few minute before I can concentrate on my purpose again. Repetitively. In some occasions I couldn’t even write at all. My hands were stiff and my mind refusing to cooperate. But this is not the first time - these symptoms happen before in my life and it’s quite obvious that I’ve been experiencing a creative block. As someone who works within the so-called creative industry, a creative block can be pretty annoying. Here are several things I’d like to share with you, on how to defeat your own creative block:

So I Said Yes - Now What?

There's a question that came up very persistently during the first few days after I got proposed. "What now?" — a mix of not-yet-over excitement and lowkey anxiety in two simple words. After I got proposed, obviously I went completely drown-in-love mode; not being functional for quite sometime and naturally soaked myself within the pure joy of my relationship. Spending time together with G have been always a favorite thing to do during my daily basis, and it seems normal to really enjoy my every second of being engaged to the man I truly love. So I guess it's acceptable to be relaxed and not wanting to think about practical matters. *dreamy dreamy chant* But here's the thing that put me on a different perspective: G asked me if it's okay to get married this year — if possible, before the end of year. So that gives us less than 8 months to prepare the whole wedding. Since both of our father are Javanese, based on the cultural custom, we have to settle our engagement publicly by having an engagement ceremony with both families before we can head into the main wedding event. That means we might only have less months to do the actual wedding preparation. So I keep asking myself, "What do I do now? What's the first thing to do? How should I start?"