So I Said Yes - Now What?
There's a question that came up very persistently during the first few days after I got proposed. "What now?" — a mix of not-yet-over excitement and lowkey anxiety in two simple words. After I got proposed, obviously I went completely drown-in-love mode; not being functional for quite sometime and naturally soaked myself within the pure joy of my relationship. Spending time together with G have been always a favorite thing to do during my daily basis, and it seems normal to really enjoy my every second of being engaged to the man I truly love. So I guess it's acceptable to be relaxed and not wanting to think about practical matters. *dreamy dreamy chant* But here's the thing that put me on a different perspective: G asked me if it's okay to get married this year — if possible, before the end of year. So that gives us less than 8 months to prepare the whole wedding. Since both of our father are Javanese, based on the cultural custom, we have to settle our engagement publicly by having an engagement ceremony with both families before we can head into the main wedding event. That means we might only have less months to do the actual wedding preparation. So I keep asking myself, "What do I do now? What's the first thing to do? How should I start?"
There are too much of emotions in my head and my heart that it took me longer than ever to finally understand what I have to do in this situation (context: I've never got engaged before, well, so I barely have any ideas). The key to avoid massive pressure on wedding preparation is to make an organized plan. Make sure that you take note of everything important — especially things that you're not sure about. Here's my chronologically-listed steps to do after I got proposed:
1. HAVE A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH YOUR PARTNER
A wedding is a joint event - you're not doing it alone. So the very first thing to do within your "smoochy-pochy in-love" period of time is to talk to your partner about his/her perspectives on what to do next. Some of my friends are flexible about their wedding, so they can take more relaxed approach on deciding when will they get married. It could be the year after, of after one of them finished the school, etc. While in my case, we both have wanted to get married since day one we became a couple (as Taureans we both can be such a hopeless-romantic), so an immediate wedding is in our plate. When I talked to G, I can understand his expectation regarding the very basic details such as when and where will we get married, how much will we involve the family in the preparation — even down to the smaller details as in what will be the main theme of our wedding and what kind of wedding ring we want to wear. That helped us to think about what we both have to do further. But you don't even have to go that far - just remember to get to the basic: when, where and what kind of wedding that you both have in mind. You can always start from there. Having a deep, long conversation before everything else will be very fundamental for your next step because communication really matters in relationship. In this preparing-a-wedding matter, communication is EVERYTHING. You'll start opening your perspective to his/hers, and both of you will be more aware about how to move forward as two different minds who want the same goal (which is to get married). There will be so many challenges that you'll face in preparing a wedding, but having a good and effective communication with your partner is such a positive habit to have, and will likely help you to combat the possible obstacles ahead. Also it's always feel good to be able to talk and share what's on your mind with the loved ones.
2. CREATE A WEDDING JOURNAL
I find that planning a wedding is pretty much like planning a life - there are sooooo many things you want to put inside your bucket of wishes. This, that, everything. It's really important to stay organize and to always compile list of thing you have to pay attention to. This is where a journal is needed.